Top 3 Complaints from GYN Patients – A Humorous View

PELVIC GURU writes:

The preface: A Pelvic Physical Therapist (did you know this even exists?) has a very unique “relationship” with patients. She spends usually 40 minutes to 1 hour with each patient (one-on-one), dealing with very personal pelvic floor or abdominal musculature issues such as chronic pelvic pain, vulvar pain, painful intercourse (dyspareunia), and painful menstruation.  As indicated in recent research, patients don’t necessarily feel that their GYNs address their sexuality or sexual concerns/questions. There are certainly many GYNs who do a fabulous job with this, of course. Pelvic PTs have plenty of time to discuss all of the aforementioned matters and more. Here’s a compilation of some of the top things heard from patients during these long Pelvic PT sessions.

TOP 3 HUMOROUS COMPLAINTS ABOUT GYNS : 

1. “I dread ‘sausage fingers'”. For some reason, numerous patients over the years report fears or complaints of having to endure pelvic exams by a physician who has “sausage fingers”. This seems to be a common term for those patients ‘in the know’. Believe it or not, the Urban Dictionary actually has nice definitions of sausage fingers: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sausage%20Fingers. An  example of one of the definitions is: “An individual with particularly large fat fingers”.

I suppose a sausaged-fingered GYN could be considered a direct conflict of interest for patients dealing with any type of vaginal pain. Maybe this is a pre-requisite consideration for those considering a career in gynecology. Just thinkin’.

2. “I think the GYN has seen my cervix way more than the whites of my eyes”. In this day and age in the medical world, there are many people who interact with patients prior to the physician entering the room such as medical assistants or nurses. There’s a good chance that the GYN will not, in fact, meet and greet the patient face-to-face; but rather face-to-ummmm-cheek. The scenario is usually one in which the patient is already wearing the fabulous, thin, easily-torn paper gown lying in ready ‘stirrup position’; and the physician enters to see the full spread view.

3. “My OB/GYN gets totally embarrassed and uncomfortable when I ask sexual questions and sometimes runs out of the room”. Undoubtedly, patients have many questions about their sexuality – anatomy, toys, orientation, etc. Patients want to be able to ask questions about sexual topics without feeling ashamed. However, I must admit, some of the questions are quite blush-inducing for even the most seasoned of us. My gynecologist and pelvic therapy colleagues have shared all sorts of patient questions and stories with the following sampling:

  • The patient who brought her vibrator into the room and asked how to use it…WITH her mom in the room.
  • The patient who asks to have her G-spot stimulated by a professional.
  • The patient who brings in all 4 of her current partners (male and female) and asks numerous sexual questions.
  • The patient who wants help finding a sex surrogate for her husband while she is unable to have intercourse.

 We will most certainly share more blogs of this sort…this is just the start of a beautiful blog relationship. Please share your comments and provide requests for future blogs. Much more on the way!!

Thanks and kind regards- Pelvic Guru

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  1. hurtorheal April 1, 2012 at 9:07 pm - Reply

    Reblogged this on Hurt Or Heal and commented:
    Hope to God no patient of mine asks me how to use a vibrator… Awkward much!?
    I remember when I was in hospital after a rather rough encounter with my man, tucked away in a little room legs akimbo, vagina out for all to see as the ENTIRE staff of A and E came for a looksie – leaving the door open each time. After hours of ‘visitors’ and narrowly missing surgery they set me free. Not before they all caught a glimpse of me in just my bra first… Needless to say I wasn’t allowed on top for the rest of our relationship in case I did it again

    • Pelvic Guru April 1, 2012 at 9:21 pm - Reply

      Thanks for sharing…I hope you liked the blog. We get some crazy questions- that’s for sure!

      • hurtorheal April 1, 2012 at 9:36 pm - Reply

        It’s a great post. Really made me laugh, thank you! xxx

  2. Pelvic Guru April 1, 2012 at 9:37 pm - Reply

    Excellent! There’s more coming soon!

  3. fulltimegangsta April 1, 2012 at 10:58 pm - Reply

    Wow awkward much?! What do you say if they ask you to stimulate them??

    • Pelvic Guru April 1, 2012 at 11:23 pm - Reply

      Yes! Very awkward. We have to be professional and say “I’m not able to do that, but here’s some information for you.”

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